I Called BS on my Spiritual Practice (part three of three)

From my past experiences, this could have led me into a deep depression. It wasn’t depression at all. I realize now that many of the other experiences I had in the past thinking they were bouts of depression were not. I simply didn’t have a word with which to label as such. I take depression and anxiety very seriously. I understand how debilitating it can be.  I will admit some experiences were bouts of depression so please do not take this lightly. It still can be a very difficult event and seeking professional help if needed is not a weakness but a strength.

Looking back with the knowledge and the understandings I have gathered through the years I can now see these episodes, these experiences are part of my spiritual practice. You are not the one facilitating it as source is being a curator for you because it's time. Time for releasing, nurturing, and healing in a deeper way. 

When entering into this awareness state of being, the reasons are many. The completion of a big project, a traumatic event, a new baby, retirement, empty nest syndrome, time of great change, or when much self-care work has already been completed to name a few. You can enter this vortex of space at will or like this current moment spirit gave me a little nudge. It’s the opportunity to sit with stillness, no thought necessary, and glide through this space of elevated vibration as you begin to rise to a new level. The moment of opening your heart to see the light within emerges to a new existence. 

These are moments of full surrender. We do not have to have all the answers especially at once. The unknowing is a window of opportunity. Opening this window brings you closer to true knowing. Clarity and understanding.  When you release this control you think you have. Control over many things you believe you are controlling. Control is actually creating your block. It is what is standing in your way. There is a name for this time elapsed experience. When you find yourself in a state of consciousness that allows you to travel to the next moment of growth. It is a  place where you receive greater insight as you allow the deep inner work to circulate and do its thing. The work you’ve done up to this point is circulating throughout your being as the energy of light makes space for the newness you are ready to allow in. 

Feelings of despair and unworthiness can appear larger than life as you clear your energy field to connect with your higher self on a new level. It can feel very lonely here. It can feel dreadful because you may not realize what is about to transpire. It can last from seconds to months depending on many factors. In the spiritual world, it’s called the void. 

In the void, you may be called to sleep more than usual to allow the inner work to be done. Feelings of confusion may arise. New visions of clarity have not yet arrived. The letting go of old habits, old beliefs, fear-based stories, and parts of your personality are working in your favor.  I had recently executed some energetic cord releasing sessions of experiences that no longer served my highest good. The release had allowed more awareness to enter yet the surrender had not fully discharged. These old beliefs are no longer needed where you are healing. The universe is now guiding your way. For full transformation to transpire. 

The void can feel like a death but is truly a rebirth. A moment of transition as you and your higher self along with your spirit team all work together for this transformation to occur. When you realize what is happening you surrender more as you can now see it as a beautiful experience because you know there is something more meaningful on the other side of that dark illusion.  You can begin to see the light as your guiding force. The veil begins to thin out and allow the light in.

You can begin to see the fire of your desires come to creation and fruition. You begin to see more clearly as your next steps begin to present themselves. The veil is no longer so dark and becomes translucent filled with a rainbow of colors.  Moments of rest, self-care, and sometimes seclusion may be needed to allow your heart and soul to heal. Revive and Rejuvenate.


You begin to see the light before the rise takes place and you know. You know you’re going to be ok. You know you are being guided. You know you are being taken care of. 

The knowing of your intuitive state of mind begins to understand that each moment you feel the burning of that fire that the fire is beautiful because it is through the fire that we will rise with greater awareness. Greater Understanding and the energy to keep moving forward for your greater good. 

Now I can fully see why the work was being pushed to completion. It wasn’t me doing the pushing. I was being led like I have been my entire life. I was preparing for this time in the void. I was completing so I could clear. Preparing for the next moment of service. I heard the calling. I answered. It is time to allow myself to soak up all the seasoning. Because my


season to help others heal greatly is right around the corner. To be a spiritual leader. To fully step into my calling. I have to be ready. And that I am. 

As I thank my angels for showing me the way to a greater understanding I realize how truly blessed I am. I no longer want to throw away all my journals, books, nor everything I have endured and experienced in my life away. It's not garbage. . My spiritual practice has changed me. It’s saved my life. Time and time again. As I begin to emerge from the darken sky the next big idea is revealed to me. I've decided to retract my call of bullshit on my spiritual practice so I can continue to lead the way as I follow my angel's light. 




National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Hours:

Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. Learn more 800-273-8255

Depression Assistance  1-866-295-8541 https://www.mentalhelp.net/depression/hotline/

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